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[07 Oct 2006|10:41am] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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lupe fiasco f/ jill scott- daydreaming |
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Damn, LiveJournal has changed quite a bit these past few months, since I updated last on July 23, 2006. I have been extremely busy, but that's no excuse, really. I'm sure I could find 15 minutes here or there to post my latest ponderings, revalations, or situations in my life. But the truth is, I feel like I'm at a point where I don't need the whole world knowing everything that is going on with my life. I feel that this past year, I've felt a bit more uncomfortable with my sexuality. I'm not questioning or anything, but I feel that I have possibly taken a half-step back into the closet. It's not supposed to happen this way, I know... but for some reason, I just don't like to be up front and obvious about it. I don't voluntarily tell people anymore, and I feel that sometimes I just play along with other guys if they say they find a girl attractive. I'm just so sick of gay culture, I guess. I have nothing in common with divas and paris hilton loving faggots. Thank god that I have found gay friends in Lexington that stray far from those stereotypes. I really do have the best friends anyone could ever ask for here at UK. I also feel that for the first time, I've found my niche. It's like I can't stand "normal" UK students... the thousands of blonde sorority girls whose interests prove no deeper than chick flicks, booze, and the bible. Let's not forget about the stupid frat guys, who waste all their attention on UK basketball.
I've also been single since early August. My life is honestly too busy for anything close to a relationship right now. With the regular school course load (I have to do well in my classes this semester because I apply to business school in a month) and working an average of 8 shifts a week, (I a server at Macaroni Grill now... for the past year, it seems that every new journal entry brings forth a new form of employment from me) I feel that I barely have room to breathe. I go to class monday thru thursday, then work doubles at work every friday, saturday, and sunday, leaving the little free time I have dedicated to homework, or the occasional party. Well, scratch occasional.
Of course, I should also list some of my favorite music of the past couple months. September was a fantastic month for new music. All of this music I highly recommend, and believe wholeheartedly you should download/buy these albums now:
Junior Boys- So This Is Goodbye
Herbert- Scale
Lupe Fiasco- Food & Liquor
Kelis- Kelis was here
The Very Best of the Stone Roses
Nick Drake- Bryter Layter
Lily Allen- Alright Still
The Best of Roxy Music
Kraftwerk- Trans Europa Express
Well, I'm out... maybe it will be less than 3 months until my next entry.
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| two guys for every girl |
[24 Jul 2006|10:34pm] |
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mood |
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 drained |
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music |
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peaches- tent in your pants |
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I am always in the absolute weirdest of moods after getting back from a vacation with friends. You've spent almost a week having the time of your life, only to come back to a mostly empty house. It seems that the only times I've found inspiration to write in this journal is after big trips, and this entry is no exception.
I pretty much had the time of my life with 7 of my most beloved friends at Cuba Lake in New York. There will be pictures posted on here as soon as I get them developed. It was 4 full days of swimming, boating, bonding, and wishing our sobriety away. I can't even begin to describe everything that happened on the trip. I was finally able to spend some quality time with one of my best friends for life, Emily. (we live in seperate cities now) The vacation seemed to be defined by the background music- we'd always have something playing on the stereo... zero 7, cat power, feist, air, hem, peaches, portishead... the works. Cuba Lake was almost like a utopia where time stood still. I know, that's a childish comparison... but really. I HAD SHOES ON FOR APPROXIMATELY 4 HOURS OF THE WHOLE TRIP.
Anyway, not much else going on in my life, really. Life seems bland and mundane compared to the fantasy world I lived in this past week. Probably go back to lexington, stress out about how to pay rent while I'm at a job where I can in no way afford it, finally see robbie again, and get high with my 122 friends one last time (the end of an ERA... i've spent more nights at 122 collectively than I probably did in my dorm 1st semester at UK) while patiently waiting as my friends gradually migrate back to Lexington. It's so scary... classes are already a short month away.
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| it's only doubts that we're counting |
[09 Jul 2006|06:49pm] |
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mood |
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 peaceful |
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music |
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hem- idle (the rabbit song) |
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I've got a pretty breathtaking view right now. I'm in Gatlinburg, TN with the extended family for a few days, mostly because my grandpa has a form of brain cancer and we need to spend some time with him before he passes. It's really devastating to my family, and I can tell my mom and aunt especially are extremely uneasy; but overall it's going smoother than I had anticipated thus far. The combination of my easily agitated father, my overbearingly loud 13 year old cousin, my obsessive compulsive brother and ridiculously conservative grandparents on paper would spell disaster, but we are getting along suprisingly well. All of our extremely different personalities seem to be cooperating better than usual to make the experience for my grandfather as memorable as possible.
Anyway, about the view. We are literally in a 3 story cabin on the top of a mountain in the heart of the smokeys. It's a 20 minute steep climb through treacherous roads from the city, and unlike anything our family has done for vacation, really. If there were clear skies, I could see straight on to the mountains of Asheville, North Carolina. While my senses expect me to walk out to vast oceans and white sandy beaches for vacation, the change of scenery is rather welcomed.
Summer is more than half over, and it's been an interesting first half, to say the least. There's been a lot of partying, lots of time kissing ass at Spindletop Hall, and little time spent anywhere but Lexington. It's my first summer spent away from my hometown, and I often find myself nostalgic from events of past summers. I drove to Louisville to attend a home swim meet with my best friend Allie, and though the meet was rained out as soon as we arrived, the short twenty minutes we spent there was worth the hour-long drive to Louisville. Seeing significant people from the past brings memories back unlike anything else, and the feelings of glory, resistance, and achievement all came back. I've never excelled at anything more than I have swimming, and to go back to a time where I feel that I was needed to succeed brought forth a plethora of mixed feelings.
After this vacation is over, it's up to New York (not Manhattan... a middle-of-nowhere lakehouse) with 8 of my closest friends. I'm greatly looking forward to laying out on the water, having a few beers, and bonding with some of the most important people in my life.
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| for the later parades |
[19 Jun 2006|11:24pm] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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music |
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the cure- just like heaven |
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Bonnaroo was pretty much the experience of a lifetime. Though I hardly experienced many feelings of utter joy and contentment for the duration of the trip, I look back on it now and realize how great of an experience it was. It was definitely the most trying and demanding trip i've ever taken. Our car was more than a mile from the stage, and some days we'd walk at least 8 miles in filthy, dusty flip flops on gravel and dirt roads. The heat was unbearable, especially friday. There wasn't much use in getting drunk or stoned, because the buzz wore off after taking the 1.25 mile walk to the stage in 90 degree weather. But through all of this, somehow we managed to get through the whole thing and had the experience of a lifetime.
The best day of the festival by far was Saturday. My personal favorite performance (and Matt's too) by Damien Marley occured on this day, as did Radiohead's. I'm not going to lie; marijuana makes music better. It just has this ability to mesmerize and completely engulf yourself in what you are hearing. When Thom Yorke appeared on stage for the first time, I pretty much went into a state of shock. Radiohead is pretty much the basis of what I listen to, and is the reason I'm so overly obsessed with music today. After reading about him countless times in magazines, reading concert and album reviews, and listening to OK Computer and Kid A infinite times, Thom Yorke was finally on stage a close 100 feet away from me.
I knew going into it that Bonnaroo would have a lasting impression on me, and that it would create memories I will cherish for the rest of my life. I'll remember Kim Gordon dancing frantically on stage while Thurston Moore slid his guitar strings all over the amplifiers and drum sets... my jaw dropping at how gorgeous Chan Marshall of Cat Power actually is... the crazy inside jokes and countless bowls smoked with matt... the drugged up naked man ripping down the neighbor's tent... standing alone, holding back tears as bright eyes played "first day of my life"... spending most of my money at brewers village sampling obscure microbrews... EVERYTHING about it. It was just what I needed.. it wasn't necessarily a vacation, but a unique experience that tested my manliness/heterosexual capabilities!
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| how could people not know what beauty this is? |
[06 Jun 2006|08:25pm] |
tentative bonnaroo schedule of bands to see:
friday:
ben folds- 2:00
devendra banhart- 2:30
bright eyes- 4:00
robert randolph-5:30
death cab- 6:15
tom petty- 8:00
blackalicious, common, lyrics born- 12:00
saturday:
clap your hands say yeah- 2:30
damien marley- 4:00
beck- 5:30
radiohead- 8:30
dresden dolls- 12:00A
sunday:
matisyahu- 12:00
the streets- 3:15
atmosphere- 5:15
sonic youth- 6:00
hell fucking yes... this is gonna be the time of my LIFE!
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| the world is dull, but not today |
[25 May 2006|11:25pm] |
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mood |
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tired |
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music |
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the stone roses- she bangs the drums |
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I have a new job. Because I don't update as much as I usually do, it seems that in every other journal entry, I have obtained a new job. I already quit Charlie Browns (the hours are way too late; the tips are great but a lucky night is having 10 tables over an 8 hour time span) and am now working at Spindletop Hall. It's a country club exclusive to UK alumni, and the pay is AMAZING. 5.15 an hour plus tips which get put into a huge pool and divided equally out- which makes it anywhere from 10 to 13 dollars an hour. PLUS, if the banquet you host writes an add-on tip for you, you get to keep it. For example, 3 of us were working one reception tonight, and got an add on of 100 dollars. That's 33 dollars for me added on to my paycheck! I'm rich!!!
Or not so much. Anyway, it's now been almost 6 months that i've been dating robbie. It's really weird to be in the position of entering a long term relationship, but I couldnt ask for more from it. He's been the best thing to happen to me in a very long time, and I'm so glad that obstacles have worked themselves out and that were still together.
Taylor Hicks won American Idol? WTF!!! I knew he would, and though I wish McPhee would have won, I honestly don't care too much. American Idol isn't anything but a) a 2 hour commercial for Ford and washed up 70's and 80's stars or b) a desperate attempt to tag into the hard-to-reach 49+ demographic. I'm just glad it's over. The sooner Hicks gets his one album out before his 15 minutes are up, the sooner we can forget about it. Who even likes him? I havent met anyone...
The summer has been going great so far... It's been much busier than I ever anticipated, however. I am taking MA123 at BCTCS, which is a TON easier than at UK. I honestly don't know how anyone passes the damn class at UK. It's taught by incompetent/egotistical/foreign teaching assistants who can't explain a damn thing to a college student, and when test time comes, the department slams you with an impossible MULTIPLE CHOICE test that has nothing to do with what you learned in class. At least at BCTCS, the teacher is completely understandable (and 100% english speaking, complete with plural nouns!!!) and the tests are pretty straightforward. Well, I got a C on the first test, but always time to bring that up. I need a good grade after a shitty semester.
Da Vinci Code was a decent movie... I really don't see what the critics were griping about. It did it's job, which was interpreting the book to screen. Not much was left out, and all significant portions in the book were at least mentioned... Tom Hanks and Audrey Tatou were very uninspired and dull, but that's my only complaint. Otherwise, I'd recommend it.
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| existence, what does it matter? |
[08 May 2006|12:23pm] |
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mood |
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 creative |
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music |
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air- empty house |
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Nothing new in my life really... alot of my best friends have now gone to louisville in the summer, while I will be in Lexington taking a summer class.
Finals sucked badly. This semester was terrible. Here's to getting the GPA back up during the summer and fall semesters. Cumulatively, I still have above a 3.0, which is good... But since most of my grades end up being borderline (between and A and B or B and C) there's no way of telling what your GPA may be until it's all said and done. And each one of my classes I somehow managed to take a turn for the worst.
I havent updated in forever due in part to the fact that I've been extremely busy with finals and everything. Okay, yes, I know I could find 20 minutes out of my schedule whenever I wanted to write in this journal... but I guess I had just become apathetic about it.
I also started my creation of an ALL MUSIC BLOG at http://dreamnation.livejournal.com .. I'm still trying to write a bunch for it so there will be alot of material on there... But I've just become much more passionate about music this past year, and love writing about it... I wrote for a major review website in high school. (the website no longer exists) With most music magazines, if you arent a connoisseur, it's often hard to decipher what the reviewer is actually talking about. The blog isn't anything fancy, and I'm not expecting it to "take off" or anything... I just simply enjoy writing and critiquing music and pop culture. So yeah,, check it out!
Charlie Browns, my new place of employment, is going alright. The money is sometimes pretty awesome, but most of the time I end up walking with 30 to 50 dollars, which I know I could be making more if I went somewhere else. The tips are great, and I love the typical crowd of regulars (an eclectic blend of college arty kids and older couples among others) but the traffic just isn't there a lot of the time.
I watched The Virgin Suicides for the first time in a VERY long time, and I completely forgot how moving that movie is. I own the soundtrack/score by Air, which is phenomenal... and if you listen to the score/background music carefully during the movie, it completely engulfs you. Music in movies has the ability to set mood better than anything going on on-screen. Anyway, if you haven't seen the movie, please do.
Well, I guess that pretty much covers it... hopefully it won't be another month until my next update.
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[08 Apr 2006|06:39pm] |
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mood |
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 sick |
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music |
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ghostface killah- columbus exchange |
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geez its been forever since ive written... long time since ive even thought about writing. right now, i'm sick with bronchitis and a small case of pneumonia, and was just put on 5 different prescription medications by some doctor at an immediate care center.
these past 3 days were spent with my family in Cleveland, Ohio, which wasn't a bad trip a all. We got to visit the Rock N Roll hall of fame, which is an awesome place... They had not only had various paraphenalia from the hall of fame inductees, but some modern stuff as well. My favorite things were the actual costume that Bjork wore for her 1997 album cover "Homogenic", and they also had the black plastic-ish costume Madonna wore for her
"human nature" video. Not that i'm a huge madonna fan, but that video has always been one of my favorite music videos and has always intrigued me alot.
The shopping in Cleveland is AMAZING too. They had an Urban Outfitters (which I want 1 of everything from), an H&M (lived up to the hype... trendy clothing at ridiculously cheap prices) and a few other boutique like stores that we don't have in Lexington KY.
I'm back together with Robbie, and couldn't be happier about it. It took a week of being apart to realize how much he really means to me... It's also quite exciting that after 4 months of being together, my feelings are stronger for him than ever, and I'm anxious to see where this goes.
Charlie Brown's is going alright, but I havent had that many nights so far, as I was out of town the earlier part of this week and had to leave early on my last shift due to me getting a fever. I'm not crazy about the job anymore though really... the managers are kind of mean (they dont understand our generation) and the food really isn't all that good. I think in order to succeed at a job, you at least have to be somewhat excited about the product you are selling. These past 2 weeks have been the most sober weeks I've had in quite a long time... I havent gotten drunk in a few weeks, and cant remember the last time I touched marijuana. At least I can look at it from the bright side and call it de-tox!
I have to stay in Louisville tonight because of my sickness... I feel like I'm missing out on everything that's going on in Lexington tonight. Even though I wouldn't even be doing anything crazy tonight, I still miss everyone at UK.
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| the hardest part of a broken heart, isnt the end so much as the start |
[26 Mar 2006|10:52pm] |
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mood |
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 blah |
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music |
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cocteau twins- pandora |
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I got a new job! Because of me now being of age to serve alcohol, I decided to apply at some places for a serving position. I saw in the school newspaper that this restaurant called Charlie Browns was hiring, so I went in to fill in an application, they interviewed me on the spot, and then called me back the next day telling me to come in Tuesday. The atmosphere of the restaurant is completely unique, with about a dozen couches with tables between them, extremely dim lighting, a patio open in the summer, and a huge bar. The food itself isnt that expensive, but I imagine most of their revenue comes from alcohol sales. Everyone there seems really chill, and it will be a nice change of pace not to work for a multi million dollar corporation. I'm pretty sure I will stay at fossil and only work one day a week or so.
The relationship with Robbbie ended. Neither of us really wanted it, but it had to happen, and this was probably the best time to end it. We had just grown to be on different levels. I've been on both sides of the spectrum when it comes to relationships and breakups, and they always seem to end disastrously. I feel so bad that I could cause that much hurt to another person. I just feel such a negative feeling from relationships right now... i'm not going to pursue one for quite some time. We were together for almost 4 months, which is the longest I've been in a relationship. I really hope that he will still be my friend and hang out with all of us, because I think he's such a fantastic individual.
The last few times I have consumed alcohol, I always end up drinking way too much. I dont remember most of the night at all last night... so due to my intoxication I missed out on some fun memories. The unpredictability and good chance of utterly embarassing myself just kind of get to me at points. People puke, people get violent, people get emotional, people get hurt, situations get ridiculously out of hand. I can't remember the last time I've had alcohol more than 2 nights in a row. It just takes so much out of you. I'll still drink, no doubt... but I've decided that I'm going to lay off consuming crazy amounts to where I dont remember anything.
One of my really good friends at UK has to move home tomorrow, because his parents found out that he took the semester off of school (strange, i know) It sucks... I treasure Larry's friendship so much, and I feel so lucky to have met him and that I've gotten to know him so well. Oh well... we are planning a trip to Kings Island in May... riding rollercoasters stoned, good times...
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| inside and out |
[19 Mar 2006|03:18pm] |
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music |
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mazzy star- all your sisters |
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Spring Break has almost come to an end, and I have done hardly any of my homework. I have to read a 300 page book and write a 5 page paper about it by Tuesday, which I havent even started on.
Other than that, this week has been mostly boring... spring break was AMAZING. Me, Nick C., Will, and Allie drove to Nashville for the weekend as planned, and we had more fun than I ever could have imagined. Opry Mills is the best shopping place on earth, and we went to an awesome gay club called PLAY. I was actually quite impressed with the club- the dancefloor got so much more packed than I've ever seen it at connection. Plus, Allie Kapteina danced. She even danced with a random gay boy and was given mardi gras beads with a shotglass tied to the end of it. We also went to the Opryland hotel (which was pretty awesome) and famous landmarks such as the Parthenon replica (which was a total waste of money) and the Charlie Daniel's Museum, where I obtained a special sauce called "Larry's Hot Pussy Juice" for my friend Larry. So, while Nashville TN really isn't the ideal spring break spot for 3 gay guys and a progressive vegetarian college female, we did have an incredible time. I drank WAAAY too much, and was hungover most time... but it was still an awesome experience, one that I won't forget.
I think last night was the last time I ever go to Southeast Christian Church unless I am unconcievably forced to. No wonder my parents still have such a problem with me being gay... every 5 minutes during the sermon they name dropped 1)gays in a negative manner or 2)talked about "reformed/healed" gays. The main points that bothered me was when the minister described Brokeback Mountain's central theme as "gay sex" (which takes up about one minute of the movie... so less than .5% of it) He also had an anecdote about how two sinful lesbians went to the easter pageant, and during the service, they decided that they didnt want to live in their "sinful lifestyle" anymore and spoke to a minister about changing. I really think that story is made up. I also think that all these stupid churches saying that there's a "cure" or that you can "change" is BULLSHIT. Be yourself. If God made you that way, thats what he wants you to be. During the whole service, my parents got teary eyed, probably wondering why I wouldnt want to take a leap forward and change my wicked, worldy ways. I cannot continue to support an institution that is tearing my family apart even with my sheer attendance. If there were really a cure for homosexuality, it doesnt seem credible doing it through religion. Religion and sexuality should be considered as 2 completely different entities. I just get so frustrated with religion sometimes.
As for my majors... I'm thinking about Finance and/or Management right now. I just don't see myself as an accountant... yes,they make good money, but I don't need to put people skills to waste at the same time. I'm going to schedule an appointment with an advisor sometime next week.
one last thing. SPIRITED AWAY is one of the best movies I have ever seen. Before the movie started, a Disney producer came on screen and said "You are Lucky. You get to view this incredible movie." I came so close to crying at the end of the movie, because I knew at that very moment that I would probably never have that type of movie experience again. I recommend the movie to everyone.
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| all wrapped up in the illusion |
[09 Mar 2006|01:26pm] |
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mood |
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 excited |
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music |
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the smiths- bigmouth strikes again |
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well, spring break is officially here!!! i skipped the majority of my classes today because i'm done with all of my tests and i cant find the inspiration to care right now. in 24 hours, me and 3 of my closest friends will be heading to nashville TN! the SEC tournament for basketball is going on at the same time, so we may have to fight a lot of traffic... but it's all good... i havent bought many clothes since christmas, so i'm extremely excited to buy some new stuff for spring.
i still need to find a job serving somewhere in lexington.... or something i can put on my resume. i need to find a good place to work in a semi-casual setting, and a place where i can make some great tips. fossil's going alright, but morale seems to be low as usual when i'm working... the management staff has completely changed, and a select few of us are pretty disappointed that they didnt decide to promote from within, and instead took managers from other stores. so since there's not really any chance for promotion anymore, i sometimes question why i'm still there.
i had an awesome discussion about spirituality with amber, larry, and sarah last night. they are all such fascinating individuals that have such different ideals about spirituality than what i have been exposed to. amber is a christian first and foremost, but at the same time is really into astrology, the zodiacs, and numerology. i'm a practical person, so i dont really read too much into tarot cards, but i find the subject interesting and fascinating. my birthday is on february 19th, so i'm on the cusp between aquarius and pisces, which means i can take traits from both signs. the pisces definitely describes me better, however. i'm a people pleaser that often puts other people's feelings before me, and hardly ever confronts someone about an issue. it can be a good and bad thing, i guess. astrology sounds like a fun new hobby to me!
oh, and the OSCARS! i have to admit, i was definitely shocked to see Crash win best picture. but if you look at it from different perspective, it's easy to see why it won. First off, Crash was a huge ensemble movie that had so many people from LA involved, including probably many members of the academy. Brokeback Mountain, while the frontrunner, was probably too controversial for alot of members of the academy. It's not that the movie was too progressive for them, it's just that it would probably cause unneeded controversy from the religious right and bad press. The academy didn't even nominate Fahrenheit 911 or The Passion (passion didnt deserve to be nominated, though... it only had lukewarm support from critics). With Crash, one of the big sleeper hits of the summer and an even bigger success story on DVD, (which the academy loves) the academy voters could vote for a solid movie while still supporting a liberal cause. Crash was a wonderful movie, although at times seemed a bit extreme and melodramatic. At least no one can argue at the fact that this was an extremely weak year for movies.
THE BEST PART WAS THREE 6 MAFIA WINNING BEST SONG. who would have ever thought that out of everyone, the group to win an OSCAR would be Juicy J and DJ Paul, who have written the songs "Ass N Titties," "Ridin' Spinners," and "Let's Plan a Robbery"? i was just so excited to see something different happen for a change.
one last thing: everyone must check out www.tourettesguy.com ... it's some of the funniest shit you will ever see. click on the "Bob Saget" video.
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| love's not only blind but deaf |
[27 Feb 2006|10:31am] |
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music |
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joy division- twenty four hours |
] |
I finally have spring break plans! Instead of just staying in lexington like I originally planed, I just planned a trip with 3 of my closest friends at UK (will, nick covault, allie kaps) for a weekend trip to nashville TN. I'm not a country music fan, but the shopping there is awesome (though not as good as chicago) and it's only 3 hours away. Plus, we can swim and get wasted at the hotel every night. It will only be for a weekend, which means the trip will be relatively inexpensive.
Now that I'm 20, I need to find a job serving on top of the job at Fossil. Fossil has been giving me alot more hours, but I feel I can make more money as a server. My friend Linnea from high school recommended a job at Spindletop hall, a UK alumni exclusive country club which has really good pay, but I'm not sure what's gonna happen.
I was thinking about starting another blog... a strictly music blog. Reading about and listening to good music is probably my number 1 hobby. When I'm online, I'm reading pitchfork, metacritic, or other music review sites looking for important, inflential, and unique forms of music. And with allofmp3.com, I've been able to branch out more than I ever have. I've especially gotten into alot of 80's post punk/progressive type music. I love being able to have intelligent discussion about music with likeminded indiviuals, and love giving out recommendations and helping people find the music they love. I just don't really know if anyone would read it. I'm pretty sure there are quite a few people that look at my blog for music and stuff, but I dont know if its that great of a percentage. Oh well, I'm gonna give it some more thought.
This weekend was the most fun I've had in a long time. Both friday, saturday, AND sunday were awesome days that I got to spend with all of my groups of friends at UK. Saturday was the big travelling party, and it seemed to be a pretty big success. (besides one person lying face down on my bed puking... it was a bitch to clean up but a hella funny story!) I don't really drink near as much as I used to anymore. I guess it just takes so much out of you... people get sick, people do things they regret, people get in fights, people drive drunk, people get slutty... It just still makes me wonder why alcohol is both one of the most dangerous and unpredictable drugs but also the most socially accepted drug in the world. Don't get me wrong... i LOVE drinking as much as the next person, and you can definitely tell from my previous entries. It just helps to look at things from different perspectives sometimes.
But I havent posted pictures of me and my friends partying in forever, so here are some fun pictures from the weekend:
that could be one of my favorite shirts of all time! kathleen also looks like a corpse.
playing with the gag gifts i recieved for my birthday. yes, that is a light purple butt plug, and no, ive never used it and dont plan on using it.
will's on saturday!
the guys... jeff, nick c., me, will on friday at the black/white party. i wish we would have taken more pictures that night since we were all dressed up.
alrite peeps, until next time!
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| i ride the wave of never gonna drown |
[20 Feb 2006|10:33am] |
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mood |
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satisfied |
] |
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music |
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my morning jacket- knot comes loose |
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My 20th birthday was yesterday, and it ended up being a fantastic birthday. So many of my friends made it such a better day than expected, and i'm thankful for them. It's so crazy how many people write on facebook walls on birthdays... but i appreciate all the comments on FB/myspace. For my birthday, a few of my friends got me a penis straw, a foam penis extender, a neon purple butt plug, and a porn DVD entitled "Stroke my Salami." From my parents/relatives, I recieved some money and new kitchen utensils. Me, Kita, Ashley, and her BF went to connection (gay club) on saturday night, and it was tons of fun as usual. This time I feel like I got more drunk pre-drinking than I should have, and returned to my narcoleptic tendencies when I get really drunk. Apparently we were at the club for more than 4 hours, but it felt like less than one. And of course, I got to see tons of my louisville friends that are usually there on saturday night.
Okay, everyone needs to check out www.allofmp3.com. Basically, its a LEGAL music downloading site based out of russia, and has everything you could possibly imagine to download for around $1.25-$2.00 for a complete album. The songs are downloaded in MP3 format, so they can convert to iTunes and iPod. They are also based out of Russia, so they have tons of stuff already released in the UK but not in the US. (this site is especially good for you homos obsessed with robbie williams and kylie minogue) It's also really easy to use and it is very organized. For around 20 dollars, I downloaded the following albums in their entirety:
The Elected- Sun, Sun, Sun
Devendra Banhart- Cripple Cow
Portishead- Glory Times EP
Artic Monkeys- Whatever People Say I am, That's What I'm Not
Art Brut- Bang Bang Rock N' Roll
Chamillionare- The Sound of Revenge
Three 6 Mafia- Most Known Unknown
Matisyahu- Live at Stubbs
Kate Bush- Aerial
De La Soul- De La Soul is Dead
Goldfrapp- Supernature
Conversely, I purchased belle and sebastian and jenny lewis' new cd, along with a used copy of the best of new order at ear x tacy for 37 bucks yesterday.
Valentine's Day was amazing, as I spent it with Robbie. For a combined bday/vday present, he got me a ticket to bonnaroo, the music festival i've been obsessing about for weeks. Ticket aside, he is a fantastic guy and I'm so lucky to be dating him.
Oscars are coming around soon, too! I'm starting to get some second thoughts about brokeback mountain winning best picture. It was an early favorite, but Crash has been gaining alot of support in the later award ceremonies. Plus, while the box office is spectacular for BB Mountain, and has made tons more than anyone could have ever imagined, it's not performing like a movie thats a shoe-in for best picture. It probably wont make it to 100 million, which if it won best picture, would be the first movie since 1988 to not make it. But none of the other best pic nominees have made it even close to that mark.
Alrite peeps, til next time... 364 days until I can legally drink and buy alcohol for minors!
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| dirty boots |
[14 Feb 2006|03:51pm] |
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my bloody valentine- blown a wish |
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Well, it is officially valentine's day... spending some time with robbie most likely. valentines day has always been a good holiday whether or not i have a valentine, because it means there is-->
5 days until my birthday! I'll be 20... the teaser year. One more year until I can finally get into bars legally. Oh well, at least I'll be able to serve at a restaurant if I need to.
My parents havent asked me of anything that I want for it... so it will probably be money and/or household items.. but Im really hoping that it's money, because I am really wanting to go to Bonnaroo this year with larry and sarah! It just sounds liek so much fun... and I guess since I'm not really doing anything for spring break (which sucks) and I need to save $ to pay summer rent, it would be a fun getaway that doesnt set me back too much (well, tickets are gonna end up almost 200... but I'm sure Im going to want some concert merchandise, and money for... other things...)
I was asked a very interesting question earlier this week by a friend... it was that if your life were made into a MADE episode, what would you want to become? That takes a lot of thought. I'm definitely not as outgoing as I used to be, and it seems that for some reason I feel a little more socially awkward. I realized on Saturday night, though it was such a fun night, that I haven't really been to a party with more than 20 people in a very long time. Later in the night, I got to hang out with fun warped tour/hot topic shopping people. I guess it just made me realize how I miss having friends from all circles.
haha in other news.. so everyone has heard that clay aiken is officially gay? not that anyone really had to guess... but apparently some porn guy off of a website met him at a hotel, they fooled around, and he kept clay's nasty ass stained washcloth. the dude also said in an interview that clay aiken wanted to have bareback sex without a condom, and that it took him an hour and a half to get off. that's kind of gross. first of all, it's clay aiken. secondly, if someone took 90 minutes, i'd probably be all "oh... i have to be home by 10:30..."
this is the first thing i found when i yahoo image searched "gay aiken"
stop grabbing the girl's boobs... fag...
oh yeah!
dick cheney shot a dude! in the head! sweet...
And I'm also really digging early 90's/late 80's prog rock, if you havent noticed by the title of my entry and my song choice. if any of you all have good recommendations shoot em my way.
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| to let the past be done |
[05 Feb 2006|11:03pm] |
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air- you make it easy |
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Well, my main group of friends watched the super bowl game at Will's place. I realized at that moment how gay we are. We spent the majority of the time in the kitchen eating spinach dip and discussing each other's crazy stories from the weekend. We'd always have to go silent when the commercials were on... and those are always the best. about half of the commercials used animal humor, and for some reason it works every time.
i decided not to take the internship with southwest co. after several long talks with my parents, i it was kind of sketchy, at least thinking of it from an outsider's perspective. my dad's main problem with the program was that they offer no money to you up front, and that there is a good chance at completely failing at the job while putting in strenuous hours in the summer heat. my mom's big concern was that i would be missing out on my MA123 class (which i dropped last semester after i got back the first test's results... hehe) so I think/hope i am making the right decision in this matter. there's way too many good times i would be missing out on this summer... hopefully samantha and allie will be getting their own apartment in louisville in the summer... and having friends with apartment complex pools is a definite plus...
I really want to Bonnaroo  this year, but tickets are almost 200 dollars (its a 3 day hippie fest) but radiohead, death cab, beck, tom petty, damien marley, j5, atmosphere, cat power, clap your hands say yeah, magic numbers, etc are all going to be there. It would be so much fun.. has anyone ever gone?
)
Oscar nominations are in! Overall, wasnt too surprised... brokeback is the rront runner this year and is pretty much set to win best picture(!!!) But I didn't make my official grammy predictions yet on here, so I guess ill do it here. Yes, I am obsessed with the awards season as I am the movie and music industry.
GRAMMIES
BEST ALBUM:
should win: gwen stefani- love angel music baby. pretty much the only album out of the bunch that is as innovative and fun as it is a commerical success spawning hit after hit. mariah's had a great year as well. though its not my favorite of the bunch, her success should be recognized.
will win: kanye west- late registration. this album has all the crossover magic and critical acclaim that the first rap album to win album of the year (outkast's speakerboxx/love below) and more. it seems to have what was around lauryn hill's album of the year. the only threat is probably mariah carey because of her extraordinary success. the grammies is very kind to "comebacks." (santana's comeback in 2000)
RECORD OF THE YEAR:
should win: gorillaz- feel good inc
will win: green day- boulevard of broken dreams
gorillaz had the best song of the year, but this is just a song that had fantastic staying power throughout the year. this song isn't going to go unrecognized. this is a very tough category to predict though.. any of the songs pretty much have a shot.
NEW ARTIST:
should win: John Legend
will win: John Legend
People like John Legend are tailor made for the grammies. "Ordinary People", while not a huge hit this past year, was a classy soul ballad that crossed over genres. It has a very mature appeal while staying top 40 at the same time. Otherwise, Im not too impressed with their choice of nominations. It would have been awesome to see them nominate someone like M.I.A., My Morning Jacket, or Arcade Fire.
SONG OF THE YEAR:
should win: mariah carey- we belong together or john legend- ordinary people
will win: mariah carey- we belong together or john legend- ordinary people
Rascal Flatts and Bruce Springsteen dont matter, and while the grammies love U2, its not been a huge year for them. carey's had the biggest song of the year, but like i said earlier, the grammies LOVE people like john legend. its really a toss up.
so yeah... those are my predic's... let me know if you have any opinions about my predictions above!
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| i has a crayon |
[30 Jan 2006|11:24am] |
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the earlies- 25 easy pieces |
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Nothin much new going on here, really.
The past week has been filled with a new potential opportunity... this morning I was officially offered an internship for the Southwestern company, after a series of 4 interviews. Basically, I'd be going to a random territory in the midwest (like texas, kansas, illinois, wisconson, etc) and be a door to door salesman, selling educational books. The average student made 8755 dollars over a period of 12 weeks, which is quite amazing... But at the same time, I am asked to work from 8AM-930PM 6 days a week.. so pretty much 75 hours a week. It is based solely on comission, which kind of sucks... but there's no cap on what you can make. This type of job seems very rigorous and demanding, and the whole thing seems kind of sketchy from an outsider's viewpoint. I'm still in limbo for what to do, but my parents are pretty much thinking no... I have to get MA123 out of the way this summer so I can get into my courses for my major by spring of my Junior year.. I just don't like having that much uncertainty in my life. I am only 20 once.. and college is supposed to be some of the best years of your life, I guess. I have to go to another meeting with them today. This is such a big decision. The main reason I would want to do this is for experience..it looks so good on a resume, and it would definitely give me edge over others going into the workforce. But at the same time, the people interviewing me are professionals at selling ideas themselves. So, who knows...
I went to Louisville this weekend for Joey's birthday party.. IT WAS SO GREAT. About 90% of everyone from U of L that I hung out with this summer were there. God, I love all of those people. I don't know if its just because I don't get to see them much, or that whenever we hang out it's in a big social setting. I met a bunch of new people there... got absolutely fucked up... did some drunk dancing.. just a great night overall!
I think that I'm becoming more of a beer drinker now. I drank MILLER HIGH LIFE on friday (the champagne of beers, of course!) and bud light on saturday... I guess it's just a little smoother, I don't mind the taste... I think that I'm just a little sick of vodka and other hard liquors now. (except jagermeister... but that stuff is so fucking expensive) Beer has alot more calories (?) than hard stuff i think... but the sugary mixers you use to mix hard liquor probably evens everything out.
one last thing... i think this is one of the funniest things ive ever seen.
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| just like a face in the crowd |
[24 Jan 2006|11:20am] |
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sage francis- sea lion |
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Once again, I am torn between majors. I've been a Marketing major since about a year ago, but talking to some people recently and realizing how competitive the market is for jobs in that field, ive been thinking about switching to something else... like accounting, finance, etc... I talked to my academic advisor today, and recieved alot of helpful insight. Basically, accounting majors have jobs as soon as they get out of school making 55K-65K a year... which is great for starting out. But I feel like my mind is built for marketing... i'm creative and outgoing mostly. I don't know.. I still have a lot of time to figure stuff out, but I'll probably end being a double major.
Other than that stuff, life's been pretty much normal.
I feel that I have changed alot as a person these past few months. As in a journal entry that I wrote a few weeks ago, I feel that I am becoming a more independent person, but also becoming more adult as well. Learning to pay bills on my own and keeping the apartment clean (which is a task far more time consuming than one could ever imagine) seems to have positive effects on the road to becoming an adult. While I do love partying (if theres one thing you know about me from this journal,that's probably it), I don't feel an overwhelming desire to go to huge parties or to make new friends all the time.
After work on Saturday, I'm going back to Louisville for Joey's party. I love my friends at U of L... it's such a shame I never see them as much as I'd like to. Speaking of work...
I'm also looking to get a paid internship, or get a job serving at a restaurant as soon as I turn 20. Fossil is still a great place, but it has turned into an almost completely different working environment within the past 3 months. There has been so much hostility and drama going on between employees, with several quitting on the basis of rumors being spread about them. Everyone is getting only 1 shift per week, and a sales contest has been implemented... which has perfectly good intentions, but only seems to lower the morale of employees and interaction with others in the long run. I still love everyone there...i like working there, and couldn't imagine being without it... but its just kind of like, the job described to me in the interview and during the first week of work is completely different from what is happening now. Which is to be expected with any new retail store, I suppose. Hopefully everything will be back to normal sometime in the mere future.
Oh, and I officially love Antony and the Johnsons. I knew it would only be a matter of time before I finally got used to his voice... and it's incredible. My favorite song off the album is "fistful of love"... i highly recommend it. ALSO, cat power and jenny lewis have new albums out today!!
Oh, and everyone friend T'Shondah (www.myspace.com/tshondah) on myspace. she is the best.
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| please destroy me this way |
[18 Jan 2006|10:12am] |
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portishead- only you |
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some stupid fuck apparently left it's cat outside the door in the apartment building. it is 15 degrees outside and there is more than an inch of snow on the ground. i have no idea who the cat belongs to, and its meowing outside like crazy, so i called the landlord and asked him what to do. he didnt have a real answer for me... it came inside my apartment for awhile then decided it wanted to stay outside.. but i'll probably pick the cat up and bring him to my apartment momentarily. i dont want to call the humane society because they'll just put the animal to sleep. i cant believe these idiots in my apartment complex.
other than that, classes seem to be going decently... my MA162 class seems like it will be the only one i will have a real problem with... i guess because i suck at math so much. HIS109 is a dumb freshman class that seems ridiculously easy... sociology 334 seems like it will be my favorite class. the things i have learned in previous soc classes along with this one are always so fascinating. if there were anything i could do with a degree in sociology other than social work, i'd do it.
i recently re-discovered portishead. why the fuck havent they released a studio album since 1997??!?! i remember buying 'dummy' in HS and thinking i was the hippest kid ever. their music is so original and creates such an atmosphere unrivaled by anyone else... it would probably be good music to make out to.
work sucks right now... after christmas, no one buys anything, so as a result, every employee got one shift this week. guess that's what you get for working at the mall..
for some reason, i've been thinking alot about political ideology the past couple of weeks... maybe i've been watching too much of the penn and teller "bullshit!" show, or maybe i'm getting stoned too often... but i really think that i'm liking the ideas of the Libertarian party. I'd still most likely vote democrat, but it seems that with me being a socially liberal business major, it would be in my best interest. Their basic doctrine is having a free market and full civil liberties. while some of their stances are extreme (e.g. they want a 100% free market, but there must be some gov't regulation. also, i dont agree with ending welfare.)
Which brings me to my stance on the War on Drugs. If you think about it and rationalize about certain aspects, ending the prohibition on drugs seems like it would be a good idea. The government spends over 20 billion dollars each year arresting drug dealers and keeping police searching for drugs. In fact, drug searching takes up about 1/2 of all police work. If this were eliminated, maybe the police could fight some REAL crime, and wouldnt have to spend 20,000 dollars a year to keep innocent pot smokers in jail for years. The government could then tax marijuana and other drugs, and the government would make money off of it instead of forcing the profit to be given to drug lords and the black market. When alcohol was prohibited in the 20's, it resulted in crime rising 70% and he birth of the mafia and Al Capone. We already have anti drug messages, and the media already tells you drugs are wrong. But the fact is, people who do drugs are going to do it if it's legal or not. At least make pot legal. Alcohol is so much more dangerous in every way to your body, an causes 50,000 deaths per year. Lay to rest the bullshit propaganda about pot killing brain cells. making drugs legal wouldnt alter what i do. i would never touch heroin, coke, meth, whatever. i dunno, i'll probably get alot of shit for this paragraph, as the only thing we ever associate with drugs is that commercial with the egg and the frying pan that says "this is what heroin does to you." hell, it probably does. but the fact is, you can't get rid of heroin. it's impossible. the best you can do is educate people about what it does to you. I dunno, this is just food for thought. I was curious about the subject, I did my own research, and that's my opinion.
ooooookay... getting off the soap box... yeah...
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[10 Jan 2006|02:31pm] |
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damien marley- all night |
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Well, classes at UK are officially starting tomorrow, and
i forgot to make a new years resolution. so after looking at several pictures of myself over winter break, it dawned on me. GET A FUCKING TAN!
i am the whitest ive been since god knows when. oh! and that picture was also taken in my new apartment, when james allie and shanananam came down to visit one night... though you can't see much of it at all. just one of the closets and the entrance to the kitchen.
Myspace is officially creeping me out. I feel kind of bad for the poor guy going through this, but I questioned my having a myspace profile after getting this email:
Ok....you dont know me...and after what I tell you...you will HATE me...see, I met this guy on a website ok...and out of fear of showing him my picture...I kinda used yours...now before you freak and hate me....you have to understand...this guy isnt like every other guy...he is HIV poz...and I kind of promised him that we would meet....now I know you will say no right off...but I am willing to pay your gas, or bus, or plane...and your hotel or whatever you want...I just, I dont want to let him down, and I beg of you....to just see him...cause he is in love...I mean IN LOVE, and I love him...but I need your help...please...I beg of you...if you decided...that maybe you could help me out, please do. You will have to say a week in Nashville, and nothing sexual has to even be brought up...just I need something...I cant do this alone....please...
i dont even know what to say.
I also saw Brokeback Mountain on friday... I'm probably the 39583965th person to talk about this, and I have pretty much the same consensus as everyone about the movie. Overall, it was a wonderful movie, but not the best ever... The ending twist no one expected, and ended up ver moving. Jake's moustache was disgusting, and the first sex scene was pretty random and unexpected. But nevertheless, it's awesome that there is finally a gay-oriented movie like this breaking into mainstream audiences. I'll be cheering for it at the golden globes and oscars.
Right now I'm just kinda aggravated, because I left my cell phone recharger, lap top recharger (which I havent even got back yet... stupid fucks) and my 2 sets of headphones (that are essential for long walks to class).. oh well.
I also feel like I'm not quite as extroverted or craving for human interaction as I used to be. I thought that I'd get extremely lonely living by myself, but it's actually kind of nice just sitting at the apt, doing nothing. Maybe it's a change in my personality... maybe it's just me becoming more mature... who knows. I still love my friends more than anything, but I don't get upset if I'm by myself sometimes.
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| colossal insight |
[05 Jan 2006|01:20pm] |
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death from above 1979- blood on our hands |
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Jeez.. I haven't done one of those new years things to sum up the year of 2005. So, here it goes in a nutshell... some of the more memorable parts of 2005.
***BEGIN 2005 RECAP***
2005 started off a bit rough... My close group of friends from Louisville was put into mayhem through Sophia's "drug induced" mental break down, but in the end, only brought me and my real friends closer. Allie and James still remain two of my most highly regarded and treasured friends. As that was settling down, I started an absolutely ridiculous long distance relationship with a guy named Brandon, which had no credibility or chance onesohever, but somehow I was still stupid enough to invest all of my emotions into it. It ended on spring break, with him cheating, dumping me on the car ride home, and screwing me out of hundreds of dollars for about a half of a year. I eventually recouperated from that mess, and finished out the school year at Bradley with a close group of friends that I hated to leave. I didn't have much better luck with relationships in the summer time, but the best part of summer would have to be our trip to Savannah (fucked up 24/7 with the best people in the world) and right before I went to school, as I was making a ton of friends at U of L (chris, kita, derek, dottie, aaron, simone, etc) I was reluctant to have to leave for UK, but it happened, and I moved for the 3rd time in the year to miserable Keeneland Hall, where it reached 100 degrees in my room daily with no air conditioning. I got a job at Abercrombie and Fitch, and thought it was a good job until I was recruited at Fossil. I immediately clicked with the people at "Apartment 122", and was there pretty much every day for the first month or so of my stay at UK. While some drama went down, and I don't hang out with them near as much anymore, I still love all of them and will never forget how they made my first few months at UK so much better. I then obtained a job at Fossil, which I feel couldnt suit me better and wouldnt trade for anything. I love everyone I work with there, and have made so many friends along the way. I met Kathleen at 122 one night, and is now one of my closest friends today. Through her and Will, I have also met so many other great people whom I consider in my close circle of friends now. In December, I finally moved out of Keeneland and into my awesome new apartment on Transylvania Park. I ended the year beginning a new relationship, and being mostly happy and content with my life. I feel that though 2004 was the year where every part of me completely changed (getting out of christian academy, coming out, going to college), in 2005 I have come to understand myself and mature so much. I deal with "drama" and
***END 2005 RECAP***
This winter break has been absolutely crazy. The night before new years was a memorable one, though I was sober pretty much the whole time. I finally got to see Kita, and we picked up Joey and went to Connection. Kita, being the lightweight she is, immediately got incredibly drunk, leaving me to be the DD, which was completely fine with me. But that was probably the first night I've been there where I feel kind of awkward with people approaching me. Some random guy came up and started feeling around the space b/t my shirt and pants, so I ran to the bathroom and the guy at the next urinal started hitting on me. But other than those weird experiences, it was fun seeing so many people I havent in months. Thats the great thing about coming home from break.
New years eve was a good time too, though once again, was sober at midnight. James decided to have people over, but because his mom cancelled her plans to go out, we were left without a place to drink. We went to some random party to meet Kita, but as she was going to the club after midnight, we felt uncomfortable staying there. So, we went back to James' place, where the real fun began, and did beer bongs and jager bombs. BEER BONGS ARE WONDERFUL!!!!!
Since then, it's been working, hanging out/gettin drunk with kathleen, smokin out with dan, and playing roller coaster tycoon. yeah, im a nerd...
And, I am updating from the UK library... my laptop is fucked... ONCE AGAIN. some stupid thing with the hardware of the laptop.. has to be sent to cleveland ohio, so I'm without a computer until, most likely JANUARY 13TH. Needless to say, I am very pissed off about that. Paying nearly 90 dollars a month for cable and internet, when I don't even have it for half of the time in my room. I guess that's life.
>I also watched the movie KIDS last night. that movie is fucking depressing!!!!!
>It amazes me who reads this journal. It's been brought to my attention several times that people's MOMS go through my journal.. and it's not just one! that is really scary... i wouldnt want any moms reading this. for all i know, my mom could be reading this right now. ugh, onto new subject.
>Brokeback Mountain comes to Lex Jan 6. maybe i WILL see a movie in theatres this winter break after all.
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